Francine Caitlyn Chye
a.k.a. Hurricaine Fran
a.k.a. Fran the PCD
a.k.a. the happy bunny :D
<3
040889 (August baby!)
Crescent, ACJC, hocker
xoxo
If it's meant to be, it'll be(:
"And sometimes good things fall apart
so better things can fall together"
don't think, just run
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
My past is catching up with me. I'm starting to hallucinate and dream and see things i really would rather not see. I'm starting to hear fragments of past situations i thought i had moved on from but obviously the world isn't letting me forget. Nothing i regret, but nothing i would proudly announce, either. Experiences, experiences. But maybe sometimes it's better to not have them rather than let there be cause for hurt. I'm sorry. Sighs. It's just so hard to concentrate on anything with stuff weighing me down. I feel like the narrater in "The Yellow Wallpaper" by the author of Herland. I can't remember her name. Freaky, freaky, that story was.
"I wish we could go back to when it was simple and carefree". I was thinking about it from last night up til now. Maybe it was the neglect that made me suddenly desire what i could no longer bring myself to want.But after the briefest moment i knew i couldn't give up everything that i had, not for something that didn't mean a thing. Not for that.
I've never felt so horribly, horribly insecure in my life. To think i thought i knew what we both wanted.. But now, i'm not so sure. Escapism. Baby you're using my method! :( Sighs. I miss you terribly, you idiot. And i wish i knew the cause for the sudden hot-cold flickering. This truly sucks. If i'm not what you want afterall I suppose it's understandable. I just wish that you'd tell me instead of letting me speculate ceaselessly.
I don't know anything for certain anymore. Except maybe that i'm gonna have training tomorrow. And i'm looking forward to it, i am. -smiles. The exhausting pushing and adrenaline and the comfort of 19 other people who love me (: Yes, what's not to love?
-don't forget about us.
ex-oh, ex-oh
1:44 AM